Mancini completes signing of Arsenal FC

Having spent the last two months complaining about Manchester City's inactivity in the transfer market without any hint of irony, manager Roberto Mancini has today splashed out just over £950 million pounds purchasing Arsenal Football Club in one of this seasons most shocking transfers.

Mancini is pissing himself

Having spent the equivalent of the GDP of a medium sized African Country on such illustrious names as Roque Santa Cruz and Robinho over the past few seasons, Manchester City's board have opted to move away from employing their tried and tested summer tactic of buying Arsenal's two best players every season purely to piss off Arsene Wenger. Instead the club has decided to buy Arsenal itself with all of its assets including the club's multi-million pound Emirates stadium.

It is believed that since taking over the Manchester City hot seat, Roberto Mancini has had a nervous breakdown rendering him completely unable to fathom the value of real money and can regularly be found with David Platt negotiating with till girls in his local branch of ASDA offering up to £30 million for a bag of potatoes and 3 litres of White Lightning.

This behavior was largely ignored by the City hierarchy last year as his bids were usually topped by former Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish. "Some people may disagree with the prices we have paid this year but the fact is that if you want to attract top quality British potatoes to Liverpool Football Club then you have to pay the going rates" wrote Mr Dalglish (in faeces on the floor of his own office).

It has not yet been confirmed whether Arsene Wenger is still employed by the club however many media observers have claimed that he may now turn his back on football and become either a scout leader or priest to carry on his love of playing with under 16's.